FUNNY BUT SERIOUS!
Allah prescribed for mankind a religion based on truth. It is
something very serious but humans always made mockery of it
by adding, deleting and changing the contents. As a result, we
have ‘holy’ books full of contradictions. They contain commands
that make no sense and defy every logic or reason.
Dr. Laura Schlesinger is an American radio talk show host and
offers listeners advice on family, social, cultural and religious
issues. In her radio show, Dr. Laura, an observant Orthodox Jew,
said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22, and it cannot be condoned in any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by
a U.S. scholar and educationist and posted on the Internet. It’s
funny but points out some serious contradictions in the religious
beliefs and actions of the People of the Book.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements
of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to
Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why
can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do
you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness – Lev.
15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried
asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know
it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The
problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not
pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am
I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the
police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is
there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is
expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football
(American rugby) if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a
private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).
I know you have studied these things extensively and
thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us
that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman, Ed. D., Professor Emeritus,
Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education,
University of Virginia.
P.S.: (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a
JESUS DEFINES GOD
“… God is a good without which there is naught good; God
is a being without which there is naught that is; God is a life
without which there is naught that liveth; so great that he filleth
all and is everywhere. He alone hath no equal. He hath had no
beginning, nor will he ever have an end, but to everything hath
he given a beginning, and to everything shall he give an end.
He hath no father nor mother; he hath no sons, nor brethren, nor
companions. And because God hath no body, therefore he eateth
not, sleepeth not, dieth not, walketh not, moveth not, but abideth
eternally without human similitude, for that he is incorporeal,
uncompounded, immaterial, of the most simple substance. He is
so good that he loveth goodness only; he is so just that when he
punisheth or pardoneth it cannot be gainsaid.”
(From the Gospel of Barnabas, Chapter 17)